Post by john on Apr 19, 2008 16:33:26 GMT
I found this among some old sheet music.
The writer is Bruce Jaeger
I will not eat barbequed ribs if I have to wear the same clothes on stage
I will not leave my spare strings sitting on my dresser
I will make sure my instrument case is really latched before picking it up
If I have never heard a tune before, I will listen to it at least twice around before I take a break
I will not try to sing higher than everyone in the whole world
I will attempt to change my strings before they turn orange-green and fall of
I will move my belt buckle so the back of my instrument won`t look like relief maps of the Appalachians
When jamming, I won`t start a song unless I know at least the chorus and most of one verse
I will tune before the set begins
I will carry spare picks for my friends who are idiots
I will give them some of my favorites to carry for me in turn
I will not adjust or take apart my banjo between sets
I will fix that bad mike cord tonight instead of remembering it when we`re setting up the gear
I will remember that banjo pickers just can`t help being late. And besides, the poor things all have bad backs from holding thoose heavy Mastertones, so they really shouldn`t be expected to help carry the P.A. gear anyway
I will not make fun of the audiences`song requests. This will not be easy.
I will not refer to musicians better than myself as boring stiffs who never do anything but practice
And I won`t refer to musicians with lesser ability as talentless mudflaps
I will have a new nut made for my guitar, and take out the shims made of match sticks and Wheaties boxtops
I will play( ) as if I really liked it. Fill in the blank yourself
I will keep the bass player sober until the third set
I won`t yell at the soundman. This will probably only last until January 3rd
I won`t spill my bear on the mixing board this year
I won`t stick a lighted cigarette up on top of my guitar and then forget about it.
I don`t have to drink everything the audience sends up!!
But in the interest of keeping the crowd happy I guess I`ll have to make the sacrifice and try.
I will not,no,never again say..close enough for Jazz! or..This is an old Chineese folk song..Tu-Ning!
I will try and make the set list big enough so the whole band can read it
Whenever someone makes a mistake, I will not stop playing and look at him. Unless it was the bandleader
I will not say..Here`s one off our latest album, if we`re never even recorded a cassette
I will not say a band stinks just because they play a different style of music than I like
Unless they`re after the same gig I am
I will not leave my guitar in the trunk overnight nomatter how tired I am when I get home
I will not eat tacos and enchiladas before a gig.
I will not turn my mike louder than the other guy`s
I will brush my teeth before playing my friend`s harmonica
I will have the spare tire fixed on the bus before we go on the road again
I will stop calling the soundman..Mr. Feedback
I will remember that people in Des Moines don`t think that Iowa jokes are real funny
I will get up before noon
Well, maybe
cheers,
John
The writer is Bruce Jaeger
I will not eat barbequed ribs if I have to wear the same clothes on stage
I will not leave my spare strings sitting on my dresser
I will make sure my instrument case is really latched before picking it up
If I have never heard a tune before, I will listen to it at least twice around before I take a break
I will not try to sing higher than everyone in the whole world
I will attempt to change my strings before they turn orange-green and fall of
I will move my belt buckle so the back of my instrument won`t look like relief maps of the Appalachians
When jamming, I won`t start a song unless I know at least the chorus and most of one verse
I will tune before the set begins
I will carry spare picks for my friends who are idiots
I will give them some of my favorites to carry for me in turn
I will not adjust or take apart my banjo between sets
I will fix that bad mike cord tonight instead of remembering it when we`re setting up the gear
I will remember that banjo pickers just can`t help being late. And besides, the poor things all have bad backs from holding thoose heavy Mastertones, so they really shouldn`t be expected to help carry the P.A. gear anyway
I will not make fun of the audiences`song requests. This will not be easy.
I will not refer to musicians better than myself as boring stiffs who never do anything but practice
And I won`t refer to musicians with lesser ability as talentless mudflaps
I will have a new nut made for my guitar, and take out the shims made of match sticks and Wheaties boxtops
I will play( ) as if I really liked it. Fill in the blank yourself
I will keep the bass player sober until the third set
I won`t yell at the soundman. This will probably only last until January 3rd
I won`t spill my bear on the mixing board this year
I won`t stick a lighted cigarette up on top of my guitar and then forget about it.
I don`t have to drink everything the audience sends up!!
But in the interest of keeping the crowd happy I guess I`ll have to make the sacrifice and try.
I will not,no,never again say..close enough for Jazz! or..This is an old Chineese folk song..Tu-Ning!
I will try and make the set list big enough so the whole band can read it
Whenever someone makes a mistake, I will not stop playing and look at him. Unless it was the bandleader
I will not say..Here`s one off our latest album, if we`re never even recorded a cassette
I will not say a band stinks just because they play a different style of music than I like
Unless they`re after the same gig I am
I will not leave my guitar in the trunk overnight nomatter how tired I am when I get home
I will not eat tacos and enchiladas before a gig.
I will not turn my mike louder than the other guy`s
I will brush my teeth before playing my friend`s harmonica
I will have the spare tire fixed on the bus before we go on the road again
I will stop calling the soundman..Mr. Feedback
I will remember that people in Des Moines don`t think that Iowa jokes are real funny
I will get up before noon
Well, maybe
cheers,
John